Sunday 6 September 2015

Starcrossed - Josephine Angelini

A Spoiler Free Bit About The Book

Helen hates Lucas . . . I couldn't read much more of it after that.

My Review

The first thing you should know is that I avoided Starcrossed for years because the theme of Fire and Ice, the novel I've been perfecting, is also about two people who hate-love each other. Now I'm all done with it, I'm ready to read my competition.

I shouldn't have worried.

The first adverb was a doosey: 'optimistically'. How does that not jar for everyone reading? Plus, it couldn't be more superfluous. And in the second sentence of the novel. My hope plummeted after this. There were a load more adverbs, a lot of them embarrassing like this one. 'Lamely' for example was used more than once in the fifty pages I read. But you don't need me barking on about that. I've got a lot more to say about Starcrossed.

What stuck out to me was the 'telling'. Now I admit, 'telling' and not 'showing' is a hard thing to master but that's what separates new authors and ones that have stuck with their craft. I felt like Angelini had so much still to learn and yet someone had published her book? It wasn't just me being picky, I swear, we were told way too much in the first three pages. Three. A lot of it was easy to work out too but for some reason Angelini had to tell me who Helen's best friend was. Really? You don't think I could've worked that out for myself? The fact that Helen's pleased to see her? The fact she has a nickname for her? The fact that they talk easy together? No? That's not good enough. . . . well what do I know? I've never been published. *mumbles profanities about the publishing industry*

Even worse was the dialogue! It was so forced I was cringing. No one has conversations like these! I think they were supposed to be funny but I was just focusing on getting through this first disaster of a chapter, and I tell you, it was a challenge.

By less than ten pages in, I decided I at least had to wait for the love interest, Lucas, to show up before dropping the book like it was infectious and I'd catch its case of terrible. It was a long old wait. It's funnier if I give you an accurate representation of my thoughts while reading up until we meet Lucas.

Wait . . . I think I've read this somewhere before . . . "The entire family was supposed to be unbelievably smart and beautiful and wealthy". Hmm. I know everyone is still getting a kick out of hating Twilight (Whatever, I liked it when I was fifteen) but come on. This sentence alone shows that Meyer did it better. A hundred times better! Jeez.

I'm sorry, this is too hilarious. She's already complaining about Lucas and she hasn't even met him. Why would she have any inclination to do that? What, people who've read this book to the end? Something about them being like Greek God enemies or something ridiculous? I can't believe this book is a real thing.

I need to meet Lucas . . . now. But I also quite like my brain and I don't want it to up and walk out so I've got to skim. I have to. For the sake of my sanity.

Jeez . . . there's a lot of faff. On and on and on it goes. Give me Lucas! I've made a commitment dammit!

My god these characters are annoying.

What? Chapter two and still no Lucas? I'm on page 40 for crying out loud! I need this nightmare to be over! I'm not sure how much more I can take . . .

Yes! At last! Lucas. Oh my goodness, do I want to cry right now? I've never been so happy to see a character I haven't met yet. But there he is: "Then Helen saw Lucas for the first time".

Wait, what?

The paragraph following is a description of the weather? No! Give me a description of Lucas for god's sake! I can't even . . .

Okay, I'm sorry. This is too hilarious. She rushes over and then collapses? What is this? Where is the subtlety? About seven hundred miles away it seems.

I'm done. Okay. I can't. I'm done.

Well . . . at least I can say one thing for certain. I did it better.


Evaluation

Overall 1/10 - DID NOT FINISH

Would I recommend it? No. I wasn't ever sure what was supposed to draw me in and keep reading.

Would I look up the author? No. Angelini has so much still to learn


Starcrossed  reached a new level of not wanting to finish a book.


Molly Looby
Author / Ghostwriter / Editor / Blogger / Reviewer / Wrimo / Movellian / ZA Ready
molly.looby@hotmail.com

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