Starcrossed - Josephine Angelini

A Spoiler Free Bit About The Book

Helen hates Lucas . . . I couldn't read much more of it after that.

My Review

The first thing you should know is that I avoided Starcrossed for years because the theme of Fire and Ice, the novel I've been perfecting, is also about two people who hate-love each other. Now I'm all done with it, I'm ready to read my competition.

I shouldn't have worried.

The first adverb was a doosey: 'optimistically'. How does that not jar for everyone reading? Plus, it couldn't be more superfluous. And in the second sentence of the novel. My hope plummeted after this. There were a load more adverbs, a lot of them embarrassing like this one. 'Lamely' for example was used more than once in the fifty pages I read. But you don't need me barking on about that. I've got a lot more to say about Starcrossed.

What stuck out to me was the 'telling'. Now I admit, 'telling' and not 'showing' is a hard thing to master but that's what separates new authors and ones that have stuck with their craft. I felt like Angelini had so much still to learn and yet someone had published her book? It wasn't just me being picky, I swear, we were told way too much in the first three pages. Three. A lot of it was easy to work out too but for some reason Angelini had to tell me who Helen's best friend was. Really? You don't think I could've worked that out for myself? The fact that Helen's pleased to see her? The fact she has a nickname for her? The fact that they talk easy together? No? That's not good enough. . . . well what do I know? I've never been published. *mumbles profanities about the publishing industry*

Even worse was the dialogue! It was so forced I was cringing. No one has conversations like these! I think they were supposed to be funny but I was just focusing on getting through this first disaster of a chapter, and I tell you, it was a challenge.

By less than ten pages in, I decided I at least had to wait for the love interest, Lucas, to show up before dropping the book like it was infectious and I'd catch its case of terrible. It was a long old wait. It's funnier if I give you an accurate representation of my thoughts while reading up until we meet Lucas.

Wait . . . I think I've read this somewhere before . . . "The entire family was supposed to be unbelievably smart and beautiful and wealthy". Hmm. I know everyone is still getting a kick out of hating Twilight (Whatever, I liked it when I was fifteen) but come on. This sentence alone shows that Meyer did it better. A hundred times better! Jeez.

I'm sorry, this is too hilarious. She's already complaining about Lucas and she hasn't even met him. Why would she have any inclination to do that? What, people who've read this book to the end? Something about them being like Greek God enemies or something ridiculous? I can't believe this book is a real thing.

I need to meet Lucas . . . now. But I also quite like my brain and I don't want it to up and walk out so I've got to skim. I have to. For the sake of my sanity.

Jeez . . . there's a lot of faff. On and on and on it goes. Give me Lucas! I've made a commitment dammit!

My god these characters are annoying.

What? Chapter two and still no Lucas? I'm on page 40 for crying out loud! I need this nightmare to be over! I'm not sure how much more I can take . . .

Yes! At last! Lucas. Oh my goodness, do I want to cry right now? I've never been so happy to see a character I haven't met yet. But there he is: "Then Helen saw Lucas for the first time".

Wait, what?

The paragraph following is a description of the weather? No! Give me a description of Lucas for god's sake! I can't even . . .

Okay, I'm sorry. This is too hilarious. She rushes over and then collapses? What is this? Where is the subtlety? About seven hundred miles away it seems.

I'm done. Okay. I can't. I'm done.

Well . . . at least I can say one thing for certain. I did it better.

Evaluation

Overall 1/10 - DID NOT FINISH

Would I recommend it? No. I wasn't ever sure what was supposed to draw me in and keep reading.

Would I look up the author? No. Angelini has so much still to learn

Starcrossed  reached a new level of not wanting to finish a book.

Molly Looby

Author / Ghostwriter / Editor / Blogger / Reviewer / Wrimo / Movellian / ZA Ready

molly.looby@hotmail.com

Dinner With a Vampire - Abigail Gibbs

A Spoiler Free Bit About The Book

This book is about rowdy vampires. DID NOT FINISH.

My Review

To be honest, I'm so disappointed with this book because picking it up I so wanted it to  be good. And the first chapter was okay and I thought I could get on board but that was impossible.

First, on my copy the words 'The Dark Heroine' are written in huge letters and I only realised the title was actually 'Dinner With a Vampire' when I went on Goodreads. Why the publishers decided to put the series name in huge letters I have no idea.

To start, the first thing that annoyed me was the old adverb nuisance I can't get over. I let Gibbs off for that because a lot of books annoy me with their adverb usage. "slowly, agonizingly slowly" - Doesn't that just irritate you? No? Just me? Okay then.

Also this phrase got to me; "tears unchecked". This was used so many times and it clanged for me at every single use. What's that even supposed to mean?

The room descriptions got old fast, as did the vampire politics and I began to skim over anything that wasn't dialogue about fifty pages in.

Before I get on to freaking KASPER, I must point out that Violet, in grave danger, notices how "staggeringly handsome" he is and has a reaction to it. Twice. She could've been murdered in that second and she knew it but wait, let me just check out this hot guy. Puh-leeease

Plus, just a little note about Kasper's chapters. Were they entirely necessary? I don't think so.

But these little trivial things had nothing on the despicable character, Kasper Varn. Oh you don't know the half of it. Kasper is the vampire prince (of course) and he's handsome (again a given) but he's also the most evil, horrendous character I've read about in a long time. And he's supposed to be the love interest. What? Let me explain.

He can be all those things, of course he can, but Violet would not fall in love with him. No way. Yes, Stockholm Syndrome is a thing but that's having sympathy for your kidnappers, not falling in love with them as the misconception would have you believe. Kasper does nothing but physically hurt her, terrify her and laugh at her. Plus, he even attempts to rape her.

This is romance? I think not.

Violet even sums it up for me!

"Why would I trust you? You kidnapped me! You constantly try to suck my blood!"

Yeah. Nice guy, huh?

At one point he bullies her into saying 'okay' and letting him drink her blood. That is not consent. Consent is 'Yes! I want to do that with you. Yes!' I cannot stress how important that is. And on that note, their relationship is poison. It is NOT 'sexy' and it genuinely terrifies me that people find books like this 'sexy'. You can enjoy these books - who am I to judge? - but please do NOT think this is what relationships are like. PLEASE. 

A final note for you about sexism towards men. Men are not animals, okay? They have feelings and dreams and hopes like females. They are not a ball of animal impulses as Gibbs wants you to believe;"Because no man can control his passions." Do not fall for this lie. It offended me deeply. Let's stop. 

"The sexiest romance you'll read this year" I think not.

Evaluation

Overall 1/10 - DID NOT FINISH

Would I recommend it? No. No way in hell.

Would I look up the author? No. Obviously not.

Dinner With a Vampire pained me on about every level. Did not finish.

Molly Looby

Author / Ghostwriter / Editor / Blogger / Reviewer / Wrimo / Movellian / ZA Ready

molly.looby@hotmail.com

Teardrop - Lauren Kate

A Spoiler Free Bit About The Book

I'm not sure I'm qualified enough to tell you about a book I read 40 pages of. (Plus my copy doesn't have a blurb so . . . )

My Review

I didn't like this book. That's being kind. But I'll start at the beginning.

I was already wary when I picked up Teardrop (which was given to me) because I wasn't a fan of Fallen, Kate's most famous book. I was afraid Teardrop was going to have all the problems Fallen had.

And I was right.

The only positive thing I have to say about Teardrop is that I liked the prologue which is bizarre for me because I usually hate prologues. Prologues are - the vast majority of the time - a waste of paper. The story should start and we can learn information later, at least, that's my take on them. This was still true of the Teardrop prologue but it had me hooked and turning pages. Until I met Eurkea.

Before I move on to that, I have a question about YAs and therapists. Why do the protagonists always hate their therapists? I get that some people do but some people also like them because they're good people and they're trying to help. Eureka might not be that person but surely someone writing YA can have a helpful therapist for once?

Anyway . . . chapter one seemed to drag on and on and it had nothing to interest me with. Also, I found certain bits of description and thoughts stupid. This can be said of Eureka who I hated almost instantly. Of course she's been through a lot (that's a trend in YA) but she could be less of a brat. I didn't like her attitude. I didn't like her self-destructiveness. I didn't like her name. She seemed like a walking stereotype to me.

In fact, I was so displeased with chapter one, I gave Kate one more chapter to redeem herself before I put Teardrop down forever. I'm not wasting my time with skimming books any more. I'm going to start putting them down.

Needless to say, I put it down. This is the end of me reading bad books all the way to the end because I feel like I 'have to'. Never again!

Teardrop lives in its very own list at the bottom right: DID NOT FINISH. 

Evaluation

Overall 1/10 - has to be

Would I recommend it? No. How can I when I could barely stomach 40 pages?

Would I look up the author? No. I've now picked up two Kate books I've disliked. I will not be picking up any more.

I couldn't even reach the end of Teardrop and I don't know how anyone could.

Molly Looby

Author / Ghostwriter / Editor / Blogger / Reviewer / Wrimo / Movellian / ZA Ready

molly.looby@hotmail.com